The good news is that the Boy Scout who was lost in the North Carolina Mountains has been found; I, on the other hand, want to be the other kind of Boy Scout.

    I saw the distinction when I was a kid. Somebody in the neighborhood tried to organize a Cub Scout troop when I was about 10 and I dutifully showed up. But, there was a disconnect between we boys and the leader, because he was wanting us to get all worked up over stuff we did on a daily basis. Fishing. Hunting. Hiking in the woods. We were all farm kids. It was no big deal to us.

    But, I quickly saw a class disconnect. I soon realized the folks who usually get all worked up over Scouting are the ones least connected to the outdoors. It’s like over on the Ocoee River. There are river rats and river hippies. The river rats are folks who actually live near the river and who make their living off of it. They are connected to the river year round, not just during tourist season. The river hippies, on the other hand, are accountants and students and sales representatives and lawyers during the week; on the weekends, they break out their stone-washed jeans and pre-torn t-shirts and pretend they are river rats.

    They’re the other kind of Boy Scouts-- the kind I’d like to be.

    I didn’t get a merit badge in building fires; I chopped and hauled wood to keep the Ben Franklin fed, in hopes of staying warm during the winter. I didn’t get a merit badge in animal husbandry; I fed and watered 22 head of cattle and chased them when they got loose, knowing that getting meat on the table depended on it. I didn’t get merit badges in a lot of things that city kids were so worked up over; there are simply some things you don’t have to explain to a hillbilly.

    We get it.

    But, I think there’s room for a program called The Other Boy Scouts. I’d like to earn a merit badge in Stock Market Trading. I could have used a merit badge in Private School Admissions. Goodness knows, I could have benefited from a merit badge in Scholarship Applications. I can think of a plethora of merit badges that could help disadvantaged kids survive in the wilds of civilization, just like the privileged kids: Strategic Marriage. Making the Right College Want You. Hedge Funds for Fun and Profit. Fast-Track to the Country Club Lifestyle. Office Politics. Old Boy Networking. Earning More Money Than You Deserve.

    That, however, might make for real change in our world. And, we can’t have that happening, can we?

    TWH